breaking the downward spiral... i hope


my house and time

oh what else have i forfeited this day
but for time and its essence.
alas myself i find malice
with knives concealed behind the folds
and melancholy to be its accomplice.
for light enters and is entrapped
'tween the sordid twining
of ornate ponderings and regret.
silence toils under cover
and to what does it beget?
but wretched knells of hours spurned
to cling onto this object faint.
will you not remain now, my love?


how wretched it is, the slavery of nothingness

{-+-}

random thoughts: the downward spiral

I have not written a proper piece since Jan and
I'm afraid i might not do so for a long time more.
My recent short compositions appear to me detached
and apathetic, unable to capture the innumerable
emotions in their essence. Shallow and lacking
direction; how else can i describe them other than
them being spiritless and banal. Hah! i feel
foolish even talking about them. Let's end this
here for the time being.


stargazing -
a drug to conjure a world
where one could lie
by the green and dream.
And gaze at the stars
in peace.


random thoughts : a dream of stars

On many a night on my way home, i would unwittingly
turn my head to the heavens to gaze at the stars
above. At that moment, my mind would be liberated
of any thoughts or worries, and it is at this
moment that i feel truly free. Gazing at the stars
makes one realize how small and insignificant you
really are when compared to the vast and mysterious
universe we dwell in. And in this fact i find my
solace. However it's an indulgence that i refrain
myself from partaking in for the life I have chosen
does not permit it.

More likely that not, the life that we are born into
in this society(may not be applicable to all i guess)
is bode down with expectations and the pressure to
achieve a more than comfortable living constantly.
The more fortunate ones would be able to pursue their
more 'practical' ambitions and dreams but what about
others with their lofty aspirations that are deemed
impractical and others which are simply tagged as
nonsensical. And so they say, there is a fork stuck
in the road. It doesn't help when you are a idealist,
a cynic and absolutely practical slash logical to no
ends at the same time. Don't ask me how is that
possible. I shall quote a line, " I'm complicated."
Haha.



let the earth don a smile in my place
wave my goodbyes for me.
hark to the wind,
let me pass please.
i'm getting tired
do not halt now.

- Dec 2003

{-+-}

random thoughts:

beautiful uncertainty,
is there truth in it?


love's but a willowy ship
gliding along the loneliest nights.
who shall be the lantern on the shivery sands
to guide this ship through treacherous waves
and what if hope and i should falter
to leave us oceans apart.
but alas more woeful it is
to find the ship still docked in bay.
for out at sea though oceans apart
least we have
with love, with sigh
a dream of stars.

"for such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still ..."

{-+-}