random thoughts: As the leaves fall ...


When your heart allows a single speck of emotion to enter,
the whole world will come flooding in along with it.

My heart has been sealed shut for a long time. The apathy
of this world and its mundaneness have kept it numb. Even
now as i move to become a more extroverted person that i
ever have been, the apprehension sets in ever so often. The
doors to my heart pounding shut, trembling though in the
gale of the coldest winter nights. The mask that i adorn the
door with is now filled with cracks and there is a fear that
i will soon be exposed for the sociopath that im really am.

For those who know me as a friend, this will probably seem
incredulous. But for me, a someone who find his solace in
solitude, i just want to be society's normal people.


adore the silence
as the leaves tumble to the earth
im behind the windows
oh! wont you adore the silence too.

{-+-}

God Put A Smile On My Face


Why do I like to smile? Well, I don't. Many people just feel that
way about me. They claimed that there is always a smile on my
face. That is true in a way,however it doesnt necessarily mean that
i enjoy smiling though.


the malady that is social contact has ravaged my mind
and solitute is my only solace


The smile on my face is my talisman. It is a mask that conceals me
from society's eyes. Eyes that are biased and unkind to the recluse,
the loner that is the pariah of today's urban hives. It's a moral sin
to be depressed, to be anti-social and to be apathetic. The soldiers
of Prozac Nation are marching forth now; and getting into their
crosshairs is a rather irksome affair.

People has questioned my reason for smoking, and i never gave an
honest answer. I doubt many will understand. I smoked because
when i do so, there is no need for me to smile. And in that i find solace.


for those not in the know, im an atheist...

{-+-}